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• An elderly farm neighbor always commented a few days after we switched to daylight savings time, 'The crops sure look a lot better now with that extra hour of sunshine.' • A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, “I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir.” The driver says, “I had it on cruise control at 60; maybe your radar gun needs calibrating.” Not looking up from her knitting, the wife in the passenger seat says: “Now don’t be silly dear, you know that cruise control on this car is broken.” As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, “Can’t you please keep your mouth shut for once?” Thewifesmilesdemurely and says, “You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did.” As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, “Woman, can’t you keep your mouth shut?” The officer frowns and says, “And I notice that you’re not wearing your seat belt, sir.