Where Rooks County Shares A Good Laugh!

• This is a true story, sent to us from one of our Sentinel- Times subscribers. In the days of telephone party lines and no direct way to call another person, except others on the same party line, the telephone system depended on a local office, known as central office, where an operator could connect a caller to the desired phone number or long distance for calls away from the local area. The central operator also answered questions, including the current time, for anyone inquiring. In Woodston, the man who maintained the streets and city property was also responsible for blowing the noon whistle. Sometime each morning, he called the central office and asked the operator for the time. This went on for years, until one day the city employee learned that the central operator set her clock each day when he blew the noon whistle.

• The two tourist went to Honolulu on vacation. Soon, they began to argue about the correct way to pronounce the word “Hawaii.” One insisted that it’s Hawaii, with a “w” sound. The argued it was pronounced like “Havaii,” with a “v” sound.

Finally, they saw an old native on the beach and asked him how the name was correctly pronounced.

The old man said, “Sure, it’s “Havaii”.

That solved the argument and the tourists thanked the old man.

The old man replied, “You’re velcome.”

• A man was driving at 60 mph one day when he was passed by a threelegged chicken.

In disbelief, he accelerated and passed the chicken. Seconds later, the chicken passed him again. The man sped up to 90 mph and tried to catch the chicken but it ran down a side road. The man followed it into a farmyard but couldn’t find it anywhere.

He saw the farmer and told him the story, and the man asked for an explanation.

The farmer said that he, his wife, and his son all liked chicken legs so he bred three-legged chickens as an experiment.

“How do they taste?” asked the man.

“I don't know,” replied the farmer. “We haven’t caught one yet.”

That explains it A preacher was told by his doctor that he had only a few weeks left to live.

He went home feeling very sad; and, when his wife heard the bad news, she said to him, “Honey, if there’s anything I can do to make you happy, tell me.”

The preacher answered, “You know, dear, there’s that box in the kitchen cabinet with what you always called ‘your little secret’ in it, and you said you never would want me to open it as long as you lived. Now that I’m about to go home to be with the Lord, why don’t you show me what’s in that secret box of yours?”

The preacher’s wife agreed and got out the box.

She slowly opened the lid, and, it contained $10,000 and three eggs.

“Where did all that money come from, and what are those eggs doing in the box?” the preacher asked.

“Well, Honey,” she replied, “every time your sermon was really bad, I put an egg in the box.”

Now the preacher had been preaching for many, many years, and seeing only three eggs in that old shoe box, he started to feel very proud of himself, and it warmed his soul.

“And what about that $10,000?,” he asked.

“Oh, you see,” she whispered softly, “every time there were a dozen eggs in the box, I...sold them.”

Buck always said You can’t tell the depth of the well by the length of the handle on the pump.

• The local motor vehicle licensing office was packed. The line inched along for almost an hour until one man finally got his license.

He inspected his photo for a moment and commented to the clerk, “I was standing in line for so long, I ended up looking pretty grouchy in this picture.”

The clerk looked at his picture closely. “It’s okay,” he assured the man. “That’s how you’re going to look when the cops pull you over anyway.”

• In a church, a preacher said, “Anyone with ‘special needs’ who wants to be prayed over, please come forward to the front of the altar.”

With that, Bubba raced to the front: and, when it was his turn, the preacher asked, “Bubba, what do you want me to pray about for you?”

“Preacher, I need you to pray for help with my hearing.”

The preacher put one finger in Bubba’s ear, placed his other hand on top of Bubba’s head, and prayed a blue streak for Bubba, and the whole congregation joined in with great enthusiasm.

After a few minutes, the preacher removed his hands, stood back, and asked, “Bubba, how is your hearing now?”

Bubba answered, “I don’t know. It ain’t until Thursday.”

Contributions

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